This morning on my way to work, I was overtaken by an erratically driven ’Playa Del Peugeot’. By this I mean, there was a festival volumed party coming from a fun sized peugeot. The driver swerved around me and a few other cars ahead and took a manic right turn at 100,000 kpms (approximately).
Only after his whirlwind manouvres had been and gone, did it dawn on me that he drove his ‘miniature manumission mobile’ hypnotically in time to the ecstatically fast beats of the music.
So I wondered if I have the answer to boy-racers on our roads. Buy them Cliff Richards new album for Christmas and watch as they sit patiently in traffic while waving other vehicles on ahead of them, with a polite smile and a wee wink. I believe this could actually be the solution. I will email same to the Road Safety Authority. They may make it mandatory.Â
12 Comments
Oh god, not the "All boyracers should have their whatsits cut off" thing again.
That would be the same as saying all Taxi drivers believe the law doesn't apply to them, all van drivers pretty much take any piece of roadway as their unlimited and indefinite parking space, woman drivers can't parallel park in under 385 attempts without doing at least €1200 worth of damage, Gards will drive at 120 km/h with their blues and twos only if a new Deli counter is about to open and they have a half price offer on breakfast rolls, older people are whacked out on so much medication they make a med school student look like a teetotaler, all salesmen in their Beemers, Mercs and Lexi (plural of Lexus) are merciless bullies on the road, all farmers are too busy looking over the fence to notice that they're holding up 350 people while trundling along at 35 km/h, all politicians are corrupt, lying swine (no wait, that one's true), all mammies drive their single child 100 meters to school in giant gasguzzlers, all Limerick people drive with an AK47 under their seat, all Northern drivers see this country as nothing but a race track and I'm running out of clichees here.
Point is, this Peugeot funboy is a dickhead. But you can't say every other young driver in a souped up car is as well. But if you can trace his number, maybe he should be sent some meditation CD's with bird and whale song.
But Cliff Richard? That's a bit harsh now.
Another question should be, why so they always seem to be playing music that's sung by the Chipmunks. Like that awful remix of Breakfast in America by Supertramp.
My theory is, set them at the edge of a cliff and press PLAY.
Genius, what a good idea, possibly in the interest of promoting Irish….erm….I'll use the word music for want of a better word…they should be issued with Daniel O' Donnell tapes
Oh MajorMax, that's just Sadistic! :-O
I like it!
Better wear a helmet while driving. And keep some heavy arsenal under the hood.
Thing is, what annoyed you most, his driving or his music?
What we need is Vinyl Justice. Excuse me sir, I will have to search your vehicle for criminal records.
Mine would be the original Bee Gees Greatest Hits double vinyl, triple gatefold sleeve from 1979. I would gladly transfer it to CD or mp3 for the Road Safety Authority.
So forget learners permits, advanced driving courses, limiting learner drivers to 80 km/h, 60 bhp and a 1 litre engine, lets just limit the stereo to Richard Clayderman and 20 watts total output. Mono. On a single under dash mounted speaker.
Peugeot 106,silver yno the story, 1 litre, L plate on backwards,Big speakers,small driver with bobbing head in time to the beat.
You could actually see the body panels vibrate!!
Though this could possibly be from the rear left hand shock
absorber having failed many years ago!! you should see the wheel jump up and down!!!
In fairness he was keeping to the speed limit but on the
other hand never lifting off either,choosing to just swap
lanes when he felt like it before finally crossing from the outside
lane about 200 metres from his exit at Baldonnell N7.Is there any known cure for this disease??
"Is there any known cure for this disease"….
Yep..old age…!
John Smith, I like the idea of checking their 'previous criminal records'. How about checking out their greatest 'hits' collection…….they normally show you those on bank holiday weekends.