Idiots on the roads…

Here’s me, driving home to Dundalk today along the M1 from Dublin …
and here’s the cars in front of me …
(Note: pictures were taken quite safely and quickly with a mobile phone)

A minute or so after this picture was taken, the traffic slowed a bit and became more condensed together. There was a line of traffic at least 20 cars long sitting in the overtaking lane with only 2 or 3 cars in the left-hand lane in the same length of road. I can never, for the life of me, understand why people do that – sit in the overtaking lane while NOT overtaking! There should (at LEAST) be signs along the motorway saying “right-hand lane for overtaking ONLY” and more gardaí on the road enforcing it.

Later on, after I’d gotten past this – admittedly, by overtaking on the left (- or “undertaking” as it’s been referred to a couple of times on boards.ie) in a few cases, the traffic slowed down even further with a long line of cars going very slowly in the right-hand lane. The idiot at the front of this line of cars was holding a mobile phone to his head and was both driving slowly and wobbling a bit from side to side. He should have been pulled over and fined on the spot. And possibly kicked around a bit. Gah.

Once again, I believe we need more gardaí on the roads pulling over bad drivers who inconvenience and annoy other drivers. It’s all very well having the penalty points system – it has to be enforced.

Anway… rant over…


*EDIT*


Note: in light of certain comments to this post, I need to make the following points: 1. I didn’t take the pictures above. My passenger did.2. I’ve read the rules of the road and article 19 in the Road Traffic General Bye Laws (1964) states that it is acceptable to overtake on the left:

(c) in slow-moving traffic, when vehicles in the traffic lane on the driver’s right are moving more slowly than the overtaking vehicle.

- which WAS the case here.
Transposed from blog.niallok.com

40 Comments

  1. Joe Soap
    Posted July 20, 2007 at 2:16 pm | Permalink

    Man, I feel your pain! I drive that damn road every day!

  2. Joe
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 10:17 am | Permalink

    I was driving o Swords on the M1 yesterday(Sunday)and could not pass on the right hand land of the motorway because there were cars sitting at 120kph in the right hand lane.Its very frustrating when theres a Nissan Micra or a Toyota Yaris in front of you with a person at the wheel who doesnt have a clue, doing 90 or 100 kph

  3. Seamus
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    I absolutely agree. I sometimes (actually most of the time) find I get to/from work quicker by using the left hand lane!! Unbelievable.

  4. countsian (28 comments.)
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 10:30 am | Permalink

    motorways in uk have signs to prevent this very thing

    “KEEP LEFT”

  5. ollie
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 11:17 am | Permalink

    what about the trucks on this road(mostly uk reg.) who suddenly and with no reguard to faster moveing traffic overtake when going up hill. Is this not illegal?. these clowns would put you over the center railing and keep going (slowly).

  6. NiallJ (1 comments.)
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 2:25 pm | Permalink

    …aarrrrrrrrrrrgh!

    Sorry, that’s finally the end of the scream which erupted involuntarily from my mouth as I drove home along the M1 (to Monasterboice)
    yesterday afternoon.

    Similar scenario, except I was only a few cars from the front of the ‘fast-lane’ snail-trail. When two cars in front of me undertook the
    snail’s-pace car, I decided to use the acceptable-in-other-countries technique of flashing my high-beams (just once) to alert the lead-car
    that her (it just so happened to be a her, nothing sexist in that) speed was inappropriately slow.

    Turns out she was not asleep, nor distracted: She immediately reacted, by slowing down to 60kmph!! Grrrr. So, when there was a
    gap in the fleet of undertaking vehicles I too moved into the “travelling lane” and accelerated slowly.

    As I passed the offending vehicle (I retract that, I should have typed “offending driver”) I looked across to see a guy huddled in embarrasment in the passenger seat, and a smug, smiling b!#(^ [it's okay, I'm self moderating] .

    I nearly did something highly illegal, dangerous, and wholly justified…
    but didn’t of course. Instead I zoomed off ahead of her, still in the overtaking lane, still travelling slowly, still being undertaken by honking, undoubtedly cursing decent drivers in the travelling lane.

    And just about then came the uncontrollable, explosive AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….

  7. davros
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 3:38 pm | Permalink

    Sometimes I have found it nessessary to sit in the right hand lane at 120 because there is a constant stream of cars in the left lane DOING ABOUT 60-70 K !!

  8. Frank Lowry
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 4:44 pm | Permalink

    If there were more Gardai on the road to spot those idiots in the overtaking lane, they might also have spotted the idiot on the mobile phone taking a photo, regardless how short. He had to get his phone turn on the the camera and take the photo.
    Those cars on the outside lane shouldnt be there, but the idiot on the phone is more of a danger to other road users than all the cars on the overtaking lane.
    P.S.
    Love the website.
    Its a great idea to show the stupidity of some people, ie those overtaking and on the phone.

  9. Niall O'K (4 comments.)
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 5:48 pm | Permalink

    Frank, if you read the original post again, you’ll see I said “I didn’t take the pictures above. My passenger did”.

    I don’t condone taking photos while driving. Full stop.

  10. francis
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 7:07 pm | Permalink

    i believe you are correct some people have no sense at al on motorways or dual carrigeways holding everyone up a lot of the time side by side with a car doing similar speed allowimg no overtaking al all.. clowns

    Now i dont mean to single out women in jeeps people carriers mercs audis etc but i think it usually is them…….

  11. John
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 7:59 pm | Permalink

    One day I war driving the dual carriageway from Limerick to Ennis only to be immediately stuck behind a jeep in the fast lane going at exactly 96.7 km/h. He sat there for the entire length of the dual carriageway, with his full lights on and front and rear foglights on. I did the only mature thing that anyone would have done and patiently followed behind him and signaling him to move over. After about 25 minutes I finally had enough, undertook him, and very carefully pulled out a safe distance in front of him and very gently slowed down to 60 km/h. Every time he tried to overtake I speeded up and so kept him behind me for the rest of the trip, with the occasional waiting a little too long at a junction with no traffic and him going mental behind me.
    You see the problem with people blocking the fast lane is that they know what they’re doing. They know that everyone will say “no, i will not sink to his level, i am a mature adult”. The signal that sends out is “go ahead and do what you want, there are no consequences, I will take everything you throw at me and more”. I did not at any stage tail him, try to outbrake him or in any other way endanger him. I merely used the exact same tactic he has been using on every other road user and to my absolute joy and delight he was totally apoplectic with rage.

  12. Tom
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 8:53 pm | Permalink

    “Every time he tried to overtake I speeded up and so kept him behind me for the rest of the trip”

    You sir are the worst kind of asshole.. doing anything more than flashing your headlights at him is just plain stupid.

  13. countsian (28 comments.)
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 11:06 pm | Permalink

    John i totally sympathise with you on this one. the guy was clearly a complete jacka** who didnt believe he needed to move for anyone as he owns the road and you can all go and f*** off.. I find that people drive in this country the same way we live our lives… my theory is simple.. if you believe you are above every body else and dont need to apply the rules to your self then you will do as you wish.. your man for example who sits in the fast lane.. he neither cares whether he is right or wrong only that he is there and you can lump it. how dare you do the same as him just like that and not let him pass you.. the cheek of you he says to himself.. you believe that the road is for all people to use and should let people pass that are faster as it says in the rule books. OVERTAKING LANE..
    well these chaps were there before there was rule books and as far as he is concerned you need to see things his way as you are the young upstart that thinks he knows everything…
    you can see him looking at you in contempt and saying ” that may be fine and dandy where you come from young man but around here its not done like that” its part of a past in ireland that is in some ways dying out which is both a good thing “in this case” but a bad thing in ways that id not have time to go into here…
    why if you drive in germany are the driving skills so excellent on the roads and yet we in ireland believe full well that we are entitled to break the rules if we are inportant enough…
    The minister for transport gettin drunk and driving back from puncherstown on the wrong side of the n7 not so long ago… it doesnt send out a clearer example then that im afraid… if you feel you untouchable then you drive accordingly… this feeling is self regulating so we are at the mercy of every ego maniac in the country behind the wheel……..

  14. John
    Posted August 27, 2007 at 11:30 pm | Permalink

    Tom said:

    You sir are the worst kind of asshole.. doing anything more than flashing your headlights at him is just plain stupid.

    Yes, stupid indeed and I don’t think I’d do it again, but this guy does this sort of thing every day, all day long because HE KNOWS NOTHING WILL EVER HAPPEN TO HIM.
    This sort of attitude, this “stick your snout in the troff and then kick it over” mentality, parking your car in the middle of the road, leaving the door of the pub open on your way out in the winter, I got mine and feck everyone else is like a red rag to me.
    I admit it wasn’t the greatest thing to do, but the guy can consider himself lucky. In Germany you get pulled from your car and beaten, in England stabbed and in LA you get shot for looking at someone sideways.
    What really freaks me here is that drivers are so damn polite!
    A guy stopped up in Ennis for several minutes to have a chat for several minutes. NOBODY BEEPED!
    They all just sat there looking disapprovingly, but generally just endured it in silence.
    The Irish on the road are not generally crazy and reckless, the style of driving here would be considered wet and limp wristed by most European countries, the problem is just that nobody thinks past their own nose, let alone the end of their bonnet.
    Probably a result of growing up with 17 siblings with not much money to go round for buying desert. That teaches you one thing: Grab what you can, grab it fast, as much as you can and don’t look who’s head you’re stepping on, cause if you don’t someone else will.

  15. john
    Posted August 28, 2007 at 11:02 am | Permalink

    people driving behind you at night with their full lights on !!!!!!!!!!!!!they drive me mad ………no cop on at all .complete distraction AHHHHHHHHHHHH:0

  16. Trev
    Posted August 28, 2007 at 11:48 am | Permalink

    With regard to motorists “blocking” the right hand lane, I never flash the lights or blow the horn at them. This is mainly due to a fear of them braking suddenly, in which case I wouldn’t have a leg to stand on should there be collision. Instead I check my mirrors, indicate left and slowly pass then in the left hand lane. As I pull alongside I usually have a quick peek to see the offending motorist, usually a middle aged man/woman. When I pull ahead they usually pull into the left hand lane, although the may forget to indicate.

  17. Deirdre Brazzill (3 comments.)
    Posted August 28, 2007 at 2:47 pm | Permalink

    My god I’ve never read so much tripe on the one page before in my life.
    Big man John speeding up everytime the other guy went to over take him. You have no right to act like a spoilt bloody child. I think you were the very danger on the road that day and your luck you didnt cause an accident where somone was actually killed. Taking more pass on how much you were pissing the fella off behind you, more than you were concentrating on the road. The speed you were doind was a hazard.God I really hope that was only a once off and you don’t actually have the habit of acting a complete jerk on the roads all the time. I can nearly see how stupid you looked driving along……… please grow up and consider other road users and not just yourself.

  18. John
    Posted August 28, 2007 at 7:18 pm | Permalink

    Just a once off I promise, nothing to be gained from it, but that’s what road rage will do to you.
    And that’s another danger, be it me deliberately pissing someone off because they where acting the bollox in the first place, or someone getting it in the neck because he/she accidentally did something silly that did not impress someone, but we must consider the danger that someday we might pee off the wrong person and that would lead to more trouble than we ever bargained for. There are a lot of unstable people out there and their driving is only the first indication that there’s something wrong with them, maybe they forgot to take their medication that morning (1 pint is too much, but being on 25 different prescription medicines is fine) and they might think you are a Tarkassian razorbeast and they must kill you.
    And, Deirdre, I always consider other road users.
    I sometimes consider them a nuisance, but it’s hard when you actually have to be in 10 different places in the same day and you’re stuck behind someone whose day to day existence consists of one long, leisurely stroll through the garden of life. Maybe it’s time I sold my house, made a killing and retired to the south of France and opened a bar at the beach. ;-)

  19. Mercedes Driver
    Posted August 28, 2007 at 11:15 pm | Permalink

    People..Get a life..
    If people in cars in front are annoying you do what I do,firstly..always leave for your journey giving a few extra minutes for bad drivers,then stay relaxed by putting on some soothing music,not heavy metal as this will heighted your anxitiey,then just chill out and have a good laugh to yourself at the silly things you see people doing on the roads…
    you will arrive to your destination still relaxed with plenty of bad driver stories to tell people!!!!

  20. gerlimk (19 comments.)
    Posted August 29, 2007 at 2:21 am | Permalink

    Mercedes driver,

    Your absolutely right, Lyric FM and chill.

  21. kieran
    Posted August 29, 2007 at 2:28 am | Permalink

    Mercedes driver has the right idea leave 5 min early and relax

  22. Ceanna Claar (50 comments.)
    Posted August 29, 2007 at 10:58 am | Permalink

    There are only two words that sum up this problem. They are “NO ENFORCEMENT” If the day ever came when the traffic laws in this country even began to be enforced, things would change. So quit whining about the gobshites in 4WD and SUVs and whine about the people who are well paid to sort them out and don’t.
    Gaybo and Gatso. God help us all.

  23. doubtyaboy
    Posted August 29, 2007 at 8:09 pm | Permalink

    Well Merc driver. You do have the right idea…and maybe that is what all Merc drivers do because in my experience Mercies are the ones who drive like they own the road, not only oblivious to other road users but off in the land of the la-la’s while the rest of us sods are dodging to avoid you!! I’m all for chilling and leaving more time but is that really for the car!! And just so you know I don’t have it in for just Merc drivers, no matter what the car us paddy’s just don’t follow the rules and it’s as simple as that. For every poor bugger that does what they are supposed to there’s 50 that don’t. Please God we make it through each day, and no I’m not perfect but I do follow the rules. Get the bloody camera’s up….it’s the easiest way to change the behaviour of the masses.

  24. Paul
    Posted August 30, 2007 at 2:01 pm | Permalink

    Do people know that they are not allowed to stop on the hard shoulder of the motorway to make or receive phone calls?

    Do they know they are supposed to use dipped headlights when there is poor visibility i.e. dawn, dusk, overcast, mist, heavy rain etc.

    Do they know where the switch is for fog-lights?

  25. koolkube139
    Posted August 30, 2007 at 7:29 pm | Permalink

    just home from work and i could fill this whole page with examples of bad driving!!!
    i drive from dundalk to dublin 6days a week and the state of driving in this country is shocking!!
    i have never witnessed such ignorant uncurtious driving any where else in the world but here in ireland
    reverse parking is impossible because of the idiots that drive right up behind you blocking ur way, in a traffic jam people wont let u out of junctions even though ur going the other way from them and dont get me started with that sorry excuse of a motorway called the m1, 2 lanes!! motorway? dual carriage way more like!!
    not 1 service station to refuel and take a break,if you left newry theres no where to stop until dublin unless you go a few miles out your way in to a small village or town…was the m1 not suppose to stop cars going into these places???!!!
    and the driving……!! there are 2 lanes…normal and overtaking lanes so why do alot of idiots c fit to use the over taking lane and then refuse to move over for any one even though they r travelling below the speed limit with no traffic in front of them?!
    only tonite a woman in a silver ford puma sat in the over taking lane nearly all the way from dublin,when i undertook her she had the cheek to flash her lights at me!!!!
    surly a total ban on provisional licence drivers would sort out alot of this driving…no full licence or u shouldnt b on the road unless you have a fully qualified driver with at least 5 years experience with you’ its must b 1 of the only places in the world where you can drive to the test centre, fail your test and drive home again….by urself!!! crazy!!
    come on guards start enforcing the laws that are there and get people who cleary cant drive off our roads!!!!

  26. John Smith
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 12:40 am | Permalink

    koolkube139 said:

    just home from work and i could fill this whole page with examples of bad driving!!!

    I feel your pain and could also fill another few pages with some prime examples.
    One of my pet peeves are rear foglights.
    People seem to hit of the switch when they buy the car and can’t quite find it again for the next 3 years!
    Once drove behind a car and saw nothing but red for half an hour. I politely flashed the driver a few times, but to no avail. The passengers int he rear turned to face me as if to say “what does that eejit want?”
    In Ennis I once got out in a jam and politely asked the woman in front of me to turn of her rear foglights. She did. Only to switch them on again as soon as she moved of.
    That sort of thing can make a man go postal. Cue swearing, beeping, flashing, handsignals, no effect.
    That just proves to me that people are deliberately rude and ignorant because they are unhappy in their crappy little lives and on the road is the best way to take it out on as many people as possible. Especially in the fast lane at 70-80 km/h.
    One guy was ahead of me (on a totally clear night of course) and, of course, had his rear fogs on.
    After repeated flashing from me he pulled over to see what was wrong with his car!
    Another gentleman in Newmarket on Fergus actually had the passenger door WIDE OPEN! I had to run after him and stop him, HE DIDN’T NOTICE!
    That’s the other type. 3 doors only half closed, petrol cap open, handbrake on, 2 tires nearly flat and an alarming smell of burning coming from the engine.
    Who couldn’t find their own behind with two hands if it was on fire.
    If you let it get to you you’d end up in a nice room with padded walls.
    Best just to ignore it, or laugh at it.
    If anyone ever figures out how to do that, let me know. ;-)

  27. koolkube139
    Posted August 31, 2007 at 7:29 pm | Permalink

    john smith said: i feel your pain

    know wat u mean about rear foglamps,,why do people insist on using them in the rain???!!
    do they not know how dangerous it is for the car behind them, even more so at night time, totally blinding and near impossible 2 see a good over taking point because of all the red glare!!
    also wing mirrors,is it that hard 2 fold them back out if they’ve been folded in for sum reason,just open your “electric window” wee switch duz all the work then just a wee push and bingo!!
    wasnt so hard was it!!!muppets!!

  28. TomTom
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 12:19 am | Permalink

    Picture this last thursday, northbound on the M1, the traffic had just cleared the Boyne bridge and started the climb the hill, trucks on the inside, everyone else in the overtaking lane, one very slow truck starts to fall away so the faster (not much now!) trucks move out, and the fun starts….. traffic in the overtaking lane dropped down to 60Kph, a knob end in a BMW decides to dive into the downramp lane from the slane road (From the overtaking lane I add) to bale into the hard shoulder to clear the chaos although he pulls back out and ends up stuck behind the slow truck because the gap he left in the overtaking lane is quickly filled. So we carry on our crawl up the hill with a long line of traffic and the trucks bearly passing the one on the inside, add to this a camper van which isn’t doing much better, and finally to top it all even though I am a least five cars back from the slow up the girl racer behind me thinks that by staying 2ft from my bumper will somehow solve the situation. You have gotta love the M1!

  29. Miaowww
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 1:54 am | Permalink

    Niall,

    A few observations.

    You say that these photgraphs were taken “quickly and safely”. If you did not take the photographs why did you make this statement.

    If your “friend” really took them it would be irrelevant whether he took them quickly or hung out the window at 60 mph and there would be no need to refer to safety or speed.

    I take it that if a Guard spoke to you regarding an apparent breach of the law (using a mobile phone while driving), this “friend” would be willing to make a statement verifying your version of events.

    Just curious mate.

    Is this a case of spotting the piece of grit in your brothers eye and missing the Nokia in your own ?

  30. Niall O'K (96 comments.)
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 8:29 am | Permalink

    Miaowww wrote:
    (Quotes in ITALICS)
    You say that these photgraphs were taken “quickly and safely”. If you did not take the photographs why did you make this statement.

    Because people will make assumptions and because they WERE taken quickly and safely, which I appreciated as it therefore did not distract me from driving.

    If your “friend” really took them it would be irrelevant whether he took them quickly or hung out the window at 60 mph and there would be no need to refer to safety or speed.

    Sorry but that’s plain ridiculous. If my friend had ‘hung out the window’ while taking the pictures, I, as the driver, would have found it quite distracting so that would be very relevant indeed.

    I take it that if a Guard spoke to you regarding an apparent breach of the law (using a mobile phone while driving), this “friend” would be willing to make a statement verifying your version of events.

    Our “version” of events is exactly what happened but I don’t see it as very likely that the gardaí will be looking for a statement from me regarding this very minor incident that happened months ago. As you’re asking though, I’m sure my friend would indeed make such a statement if required.

    Is this a case of spotting the piece of grit in your brothers eye and missing the Nokia in your own ?

    Why are you picking specifically on Nokia phones, there’s plenty of other brands out there you know…

  31. Fergal
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 3:12 pm | Permalink

    There I was on the M50 heading Northbound on Sunday 26 th August around 5 pm. Coming up to the roadworks just south of the Mad Cow Rb. The lanes split so that the outside lane runs on the Southbound side of the carriageway.

    I was in the outside lane when this absolute muppet in a white Caddy or Berlingo or some other such small car-van pulls out in front of me from the inside lane to the outside lane. Right at the last bloody minute. Forcing me to slow down very very rapidly. I was within the speed limit but forced to slow down futher as he crossed right in front of me.

    He (a young-ish guy poss. late 20′s early 30′s) with blonde girlfriend, then proceeded up the outside lane at 40 to 50 kph. There were no cars in front of him and a trail of about 20 behind. When the lanes eventually merged near the N4 interchange I got to undertake him, along with about 5 other cars behind me who were obviously just as frustrated as I was. He eventually pulled in and let the traffic flow freely.

    When I looked across at him as I was passing by, he and the girl were clearly enjoying the fact that they had held up all those drivers. He could have stayed in the inside lane way back but must have been bored and decided to have some idiotic fun. I can just hear the two of the scheming “Look, do you see yer man coming up behind me? Let’s play wanker for a while, watch this as I pull out at the last minute and crawl through the roadworks. It’ll be such a hoot. Let’s see if we can beat our “how many cars can we hold up” record.”

    There are so many idiots of this type on the road. They know what they are doing, and they do it deliberately. How many of these type of dickheads and assholes have been the root cause of crashes or accidents? Frustrating driving behaviour and slow driving should be punishable and punished – severely!

    Incidentally, great site..I hope it does well, but people replying to posters have got to stop being so pedantic. Take the poster at their word – you can rip a post to shreds easily enough (including this one, just take it from me that yer man was a prat, did something idiotic and I was so frustrated at his behaviour I came onto this site to vent my spleen a little, ok? Thanks.) – just remember the writer has to sum up the experience as a comparatively short piece of prose. These aren’t meant to be detailed Garda or Insurance Incident reports you know. I’ll post again I’m sure…

  32. Niall O'K (96 comments.)
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 3:51 pm | Permalink

    Great contribution Fergal – well written – thanks!

  33. lisa (2 comments.)
    Posted September 1, 2007 at 9:16 pm | Permalink

    We were travelling along the M50. We pulled out into the fast lane to overtake, there was a couple in a car, they wouldn’t pull out of the fast lane, we flashed them a couple of times, nah, not moving. The girl turned back to see what the problem was. After all they pay road tax don’t they? If they wanna drive in this lane they can right? Wrong. We stayed behind them the whole way, they wouldn’t move, eventually we took our exit and himself honked at them, they just turned and glared at us…and continued their merry way in the fast lane. Are people taught to drive on the motorway or wha’? I have to say I haven’t seen any instructor cars out there. Ok no L drivers on the motorway, but how the hell are they supposed to learn otherwise??
    We need motorway police. You know, we complain about the traffic in the city, it might be worth considering that just a few miles outside the city centre where you’ve got everyone driving in the fast lane and nobody on the left, our traffic congestion could be diminished somewhat if we had motorway police getting those idiots out of the fast lane and contributing to the traffic chaos. You get a dozen or so driving in the fast lane at the start of the motorway, and the little guy trying to get out of the city is going to feel it..
    Rant rant..

  34. Smart Mart
    Posted September 2, 2007 at 1:11 am | Permalink

    In reply to “John and the slow Jeep” incident.
    Retaliating in kind by driving as badly as they are makes you just as bad as them.
    If you want to get at them-try this.
    The best wind up I ever did was copied from a former student of mine.
    In a basketball match one of my players was doing well and scoring loads of points. His defender was getting very upset and ranting and raving and trying to wind him up. My player was a laid-back type of guy but eventually had enough of his opponents ridiculous behaviour and planted a kiss on his cheek (his facial cheek!!). To say he went mental was putting it mildly. This put him even more of his game and my player gained even more success.
    A great wind up, very effective.
    Anyway, back to the road…
    I got stuck behind an extremely slow driver on speed (ho, ho) bumps in the road. You know the type-if he got out and pushed he’d have gone faster. I saw an opportunity to overtake and took it. He obviously thought that this was outrageous behaviour and gave me the V’s and some verbal abuse.
    Rather than reply in kind I turned my face towards him and blew him a big kiss. He went absolutely ballistic and would have come out of his seat if he didn’t have his seat belt on.
    His reaction was pure joy.
    I didn’t have to lower my standards of driving at all.

  35. Miaowww
    Posted September 2, 2007 at 3:37 am | Permalink

    A great idea Smart Mart. Excellent.

  36. Disco Chav
    Posted September 2, 2007 at 3:56 pm | Permalink

    Hello. Niall… da wife took the pictures. Of course. Smart Mart. You blew a kiss to a fellow motorist… okay? Miaowww. Why?

    I really really think that if your Insurer (or ‘Your Honour’ for that matter…) were to get wind of the fact that you were goading or gesturing at another motorist, a very dim view would be taken. I, like the thousands of other fucking lemming commuters droning their way round this island monday thru to friday, occasionally would be awoken from my catatonic state of listening to George Hook’s accent cornering better than me, to the image of some (usually) young cub up my hole in an effort to get past. I have a quick car I admit to myself, I could kick this little shit’s arse, but before I drop it into fourth, I must ask…. is little shit worth the risk? And before you can say, honey stop fucking yakking and grab the camera, I’d realise that you just can’t take the chance. You could be accountable for reducing the distance within which young cub has to get in front of you and that is an offence. Let them go by. But blow a soft kiss. XX

  37. John Smith
    Posted September 2, 2007 at 6:41 pm | Permalink

    Hi Smart Mart.
    It was on a dual carriageway. No way past and he knew that. Had I been close enough i would have done something to his cheek, wouldn’t have been a kiss though.
    He looked a bit like those guys towing horseboxes almost on the other side of the road to make sure no one gets past them at 60 km/h, because they are sooo f***king important.
    By law they are right and I was wrong.
    By law we MUST sit behind him at a safe distance, no flashing, no handsignals, no blowing kisses and no overtaking on the wrong side.
    I’m working on a defense of temporary insanity.
    I have considered a tour of Ireland in a 1989 Fiesta 1.1 at 65 km/h, traveling on dual carriageways and motorways exclusively in the fast lane with shitedrivers.com written all over the car.
    Now THAT would create awareness.
    After all.
    It’s not wrong, it’s not illegal, no one can touch you, why not do it?
    Might cause some attention in the right departments after all.
    Cause if there’s anything that pisses the government off more than anything else it’s people deliberately and publicly taking the piss out of legal loopholes.

  38. Chris S
    Posted September 3, 2007 at 1:00 pm | Permalink

    In answer to a question asked above :

    No, learner drivers are not taught to drive on a Motorway

  39. Yvonne
    Posted September 12, 2007 at 6:27 pm | Permalink

    in relation to what koolkube139 said about provisional licence drivers but excuse me but you had to learn at one time or another and if there was a total ban on L driver then no1 wld be on the roads.

    Im a L driver and mostly when complete twats pull out in front of me etc they dont have L plates up so i can only assume that they have a full licence so its not just L drivers who are twats. The other day i was at the traffic lights when i was beeped for not moving, i could understand some1 beeping if i had stayed there ages but about 2 seconds had passed since the lights turned green and the gobshite (no L plate up) beeped me.

    Even when my friends were learning to drive they had a load of near misses cos drivers see the L and just go for it. I even once had a guy overtake me on a turn cos he saw the L plate! When i beeped him for being a complete idiot he actually got out of his car (which he left parked in the middle of the road in such a way that no1 could move past him) and told me it was cos i had the L plate.

    Regardless of the type of licence you have if you’re going to be a twat on the road you will be one.

  40. koolkube139
    Posted September 15, 2007 at 9:23 pm | Permalink

    response to yvonne…

    when i learned to drive (in scotland) i had to have a person with a full licence over the age of 21 beside me and i had lessons with a qualified instructor or i’d b in serious trouble with the cops!!
    so you think its totaly acceptable for a person with no driving experience to just get in the car and drive?!
    thats wats wrong,people just take driving as there god givin right,u should have 2 earn your licence so you would respect it more.
    and so wat if that meant there would hardly b any 1 on the road,least i’d get about quicker and safer!!!!!!!